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Hello again Empire! I know I said I'd do Godzilla in my next angry review but I just got done watching this one and it can't wait. I was so disappointed by this movie. I love the show and have watched all the way through it several times, but the movie changed way too many things to be a good adaptation, but kept too many things to be considered a standalone film. Today we go over the changes and why they didn't work. Also: WARNING: There will be language and spoilers for both the show and the movie. If you are one of those stuck up assholes who dislike spoilers, do not read this article. Oh who am I kidding you will...

The Plot

Since you already know the plot I'm just going to list off what the movie changed. Wait, you don't know the plot? The hell have you been doing? Living under a rock perhaps? Just watch the first 7 or 8 episodes and you're golden.

-The movie takes place in the future.

-Instead of killing off Eren's mother, they have Mikasa get attacked holding a baby.(Don't worry only the baby dies.)

-the colossal titan is way bigger

-Armin is the strong and angry one and Eren is the wuss.

-Levi is replaced by Shikishima, who is a total asshole and totally unlikable. Also the rest of the Survey Corps.' main characters except for Hanji (now called Hans for some reason) are absent.

-Mikasa becomes a bitch that hates Eren for leaving her behind.

-Mikasa and Shikishima have a thing going just to piss off Eren.

-the titans now make sounds and they are derpy as hell.

-Armin and Sasha have a thing going. Why? Because he feeds her.

-Annie is absent. spoiler alert but without Annie, how the hell does the whole super-important Female Titan story-arc happen?

-Eren has a Yandere named Hiana who wants him to father her daughter Rico, (Rico was the name of another character from the show that is absent in the film) except she pays the price when she tries to sleep with him.

-the character Hans from the show is replaced by a different cowardly douchebag named Souda.

-everyone is Japanese and not of many different ethnicities. (note that this one was more of a limitation than a change)

Now we look at why these changes were bad ideas and what else is wrong with the movie.

What I Thought

All of the changes sucked ass. I hated every single one of them. Changing our familiar characters into shadows of their former selves, changing the date of setting just to use cars instead of horses, attempting to kill off the most popular female character at the beginning, and the titans being derpier than in the show. I have no idea how that was even possible, but they fucking passed with flying colors. Speaking of the titans, I must touch on the special effects used to bring them to life. Tokusatsu, or practical suit effects, work really well with a really good suit. However, it doesn't seem to be as effective when making humanoid monsters. They just look like people in a fake set. The illusion just doesn't work if we have something we know is actually man-sized. It has to look like a creature that can be that big. The green-screen shots were not the best, though they are better than most Japanese special effects, so they get a pass on that. The actors kind of own the show here. They are phenomenal. Kudos, casting, kudos. Even if they're a bit cheesy, the scenes with the titans are pretty entertaining and cool, and being in live action, it shocks you much more every time a character dies. But we didn't get enough of these great action scenes, or enough faithfulness to save it.

Afterword

Well, I'm sorry to say it, but I'm really disappointed. I really wanted to like this movie, but it felt almost like it didn't want me to like it. I'll give it a 5/10. If you aren't a die-hard fan of the show like I am, then you might actually enjoy this movie. I just don't understand the attempt to reach a new demographic like this when the show was already a massive success with people of pretty much every demographic. Why must adaptations abandon the fans every time? I guess that's how it works now. That's it for today. I have not seen the dubbed version yet, so if I see it I'll post a comment about how good or bad the dubbing is. Next time I do an angry review I promise it'll be Godzilla '98. With that I'm out. Have a good one out there.

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