Hello soldiers! Its the Johnos. And today I'm going to finally review The Exorcist despite apparently the world trying to get in my way. Trust me, some major stuffs went down that delayed this article. You don't even want to know. Anyway I want to start off saying WOW. No wonder they say this is the scariest movie ever made. Holy crap this movie is intense. Now we get to the review.


We start off with a priest working on Israeli excavation site, finding more than a few artifacts. We then see what I interpreted as him facing a demon on a hill. Then we go back to the United States where we have a wealthy single mother with two girls. A teenager, who I don't remember the name of, and a young girl named Reagan(only name I actually remember.) Meanwhile, a young priest(why can't I remember character names today?) is questioning his faith because his mother passed away after he left her alone. The girl then becomes possessed, and becomes more evil, violent, and facially scarred as the possession firms its hold on her. There are some terrifying visions and scenes of self-mutilation, as well as the gruesome descriptions of the things we didn't see happen. Eventually the two priests perform the titular exorcism on the girl. The demon kills the old, frail one(Goddamn names! I can't remember any!) and the other priest begs the demon to possess him instead of her. After the demon possesses him, he uses his last moment of free will to throw himself out the window, where he promptly hits and falls down a flight of cement stairs and to his demise, ridding the world of the demon forever. But wait Johnos! What about the two unwanted sequels? Well Sonhoj(my idiot clone), those movies are in the "Never Speak Of" category, and honestly, nobody has even seen or heard of them.(thank merciful science)

What I Thought

No offense, but holy shit this movie is scary. I've never been more terrified of a movie since I made the stupid decision to watch It and Pet Sematary(I know its spelled Cemetery, it was spelled wrong on purpose in the title), when I was only 5. This movie lives up to all the hype. Its the real deal, and honestly one of the greatest movies of all time. I was more scared of not liking it than I was of the movie itself. I though all the religiousness might get in the way of me enjoying the movie(I am an atheist after all)but it didn't bother me in the slightest, and actually gave a certain charm to the film. Not going to make me convert or anything, but it I was cool with it. And that's quite the achievement; making a movie so good, the religious stuff doesn't bother me.


Well that's it. Scary ass movie. 9.75/10, because there are movies I like better, but not many. Watch it if you dare! So anyway, i just barely finished fast enough for this to be released on the right day. After this I'm going to finally get around to finishing the Jaws Video rant. So with that I'm out, and remember, its a perfect day for an exorcism. BWAH HA HA!!!! Good night!