Hello again Empire! It has been a while, but I'm back and ready to fulfil an old promise. Today we look at the single solitary thing that I hate the most. The bane of my existance. The thing that makes me cry at night and ask "Why"? Thats right. Today we look at not-god Zilla. (bad pun)


Just like the last Angry review, instead of writing the plot, I'm simply going to make a list of points. Thistime however, I will be adding a + sign for positive things and a - sign for negative things. Lets get into the list.

- Bad CG

- Origin is Wrong

+ Matthew Broderick is a pretty chill guy

- Matthew Broderick's performance in this film is God Awful.

+ Freighter scene builds good tension

- Lighter scene makes no sense.

- Chernoble Earth Worms

- Protagonist has funny name as a bad running joke that poorly substitutes for character

- Protagonist's Name is not that hard to pronounce, but peope screw it up anyways

+ Name gag quickly forgotten

+ Three voice actors from The Simpsons appear in the movie

+ Another tension-building nighttime boat scene

- Protagonist's girlfriend is a total stupid bitch. And I mean a REALLY STUPID. BITCH.

+ The French guys are kinda funny. Sometimes.

- The entire rest of the cast is totally Insufferable

- That includes the so called "Godzilla". Design is totally wrong in every way

- Zilla's reveal scene makes no sense and is full of inconsistancies

- I'll put Bad CGI on here again, just to emphisise how bad it truly is

- Military full of idiots

- Siscol and Ebert jokes

+ Siscol and Ebert hated this movie too

- A lizard that big cannot just "slip away" on Manhattan Island.

- Blatant Plagerism of Jurassic Park

- Inconsistancies in the geography of Manhattan

- Godzilla dies like a BEEATCH.

- Female lead's acting is still bad.

- CGI is still bad


- Didn't end sooner.

- The torture continues during the credits: Puff Daddy and Jimmy Paige ruin Led Zeppelin's Kashmir.

Final tally: +8/-22 Giving it a score of -14. HO. LY. SHIT.

What I Thought

This movie ruined my childhood. I hate it.


This movie gets a -1/10. It's bad for Godilla fans and haters alike. It's the one thing we all agree on: how bad this movie is. Thanks for viewing, I'm sorry for making you wait so long but... but...uhh...

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Hey, Johnos. Remember me?

Oh Hell No!!!